Today is Christmas, and I am drowning myself in alcohol, hoping to numb all the pain I'm feeling.

I feel dejected, sadness and anger. A mixture of all these negative feelings is making me feel pain all over my body. Tears keep falling and there seem to be nothing that I can do to make them stop.

I put in effort to make others happy, hoping that in the process, this gesture would be reciprocated. But no, all I get in return is disappointment and sadness.

Everyone is happy, they are enjoying. But I'm not, I'm just here ranting on this space trying to make my pathetic self look better.

It's always like this isn't it? All your hopes get up and all they do is destroy them one by one, and killing the only heart that you have.

I don't know what to say anymore. This sadness is overwhelming me.


Love,
Christianna.